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As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
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If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
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Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
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Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
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If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
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We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
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Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
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The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
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There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
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In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
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Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
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When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
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We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
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If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
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Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She\'s 97 today and we don\'t know where she is!
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
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Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
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It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
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Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
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I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
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I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
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Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
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When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
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When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI?!
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
I am not young enough to know everything.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
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My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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